Kelli Hates Sugar Cookies
If you’re new around here, you might not know that I own a bakery.
Of course you know, that’s what I like to complain about now, duh!
While most of the orders I take are cake or cake-related, I also make a fair amount of decorated sugar cookies.
Surely you’ve seen one, they’re all the rage right now. The Mommies Who Know must have sugar cookies. And, not to brag, but I’ve been told mine are pretty damn good.
The Mommies Who Know (from this point forward MWN), like to order these by the dozen. Often times decorated to match the cake, the cupcakes or the invitation to the soiree. (In some cases, all of the above)
The thing about decorated sugar cookies is - they’re a pain. Really.
Here are the steps I typically take on a sugar cookie order:
1. Make the dough. (easy enough, I now have a mixer that can make enough dough for about 100 cookies in a single batch.)
2. Chill the dough. (again, easy peasy)
3. Roll out the dough. Scrape it off the table because I didn’t use enough flour.
4. Roll out the dough again.
5. Cut out the shapes. Usually easy, unless they’ve asked for a shape that doesn’t exist in science. Like Dora the Explorer holding a microphone in one hand and a flower in the other. I don’t know why she’s holding those things, but I’m told it has to do with the theme of the party.
6. In the event of a ‘non-exsisting shape,’ cut out cardboard shape and trace. Or piece together from other cutters. (A shooting star will make a great palm tree, muppet or Sideshow Bob).
8. Do no burn!
9. After cooling, make icing. Fill bag, realize that icing is too thin and runs everywhere. Pour back into mixer and add more sugar.
10. Outline cookies.
11. Let dry.
12. Flood fill cookies. Realize that you don’t have any of the colors you need.
13. Make more icing.
14. Too thin again. Curse. Eat a cookie. Add more sugar to the icing.
15. Flood fill cookies.
16. Let dry 3-4 hours.
17. Add details.
18. Let dry overnight.
19. Wrap each cookie individually with ribbon to match the invitation.
20. Place in box ready to be picked up.
21. Smile through gritted teeth when customer says, “Really? $2 per cookie? That seems high.”
22. Vow to never make sugar cookies again.